Chapter 27, Love Notes

First Impressions

I’ve learned to pay attention to my thoughts just as I’m waking up in the morning. Most of the time they are the normal–what, where’s and why’s of the coming day.

Occasionally, they are different. I’ve learned to hear and recognize the difference and who they are coming from. It’s been a blessing to me and our family.

Lorna is a master at using lyrics from songs to speak for her. You have read about some of them earlier in this book. The message conveyed is always clear and unmistakable.

Some of my sweetest love notes came from the lyrics of songs. Usually a phrase or two would have special meaning to me.

I didn’t pay attention to the music and songs of my generation. I never bought a record, so consequently didn’t need a record player. I only listened to a radio when I was driving. My station of choice was Klub 570 a.m. on the radio dial. Just music, no lyrics. The station would play three songs in a row. They called them “Klubs Magnificent Medley’s,” i.e. elevator music.

So consequently, as I would wake up with a tune and a few lyrics rolling around in my mind, I seldom knew the name of the song or who sung it. I would Google the phrase I was hearing and find the song and lyrics online.

“Have I told you lately” and “Seasons in the Sun” were the first two songs that I woke up hearing my mind.

The following songs were received over a period of nine months or so.

“I Will Always Love You,” Whitney Houston
“Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina,” Madonna

I woke up to the Madonna song twice. The first time I couldn’t make a connection for Lorna and me. The second time, a few months later, it clicked.

It was a song about Lorna’s life.

It won’t be easy, you’ll think it’s strange,
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love after all that I’ve done.

You won’t believe me, all you will see
Is a girl you once knew.
Although she’s dressed up to the nines,
At sixes and sevens for you.

I had to let it happen. I had to change.
I Couldn’t stay all my life down at heel,
Looking out of the window,
Staying out of the sun.

So, I chose freedom,
Running around trying everything new.
But nothing impressed me at all.
I never expected to.

And as for fortune, and as for fame,
I never invited them in,
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired.
They are illusions.
They’re not the solutions they promise to be.
The answer was here all the time.
I love you and hope you love me.

Don’t cry for me, Argentina
The truth is I never left you.
All through my wild days,
My mad existence,
I kept my promise,
Don’t keep your distance

Have I said too much?
There is nothing more I could think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true.

Unchained Melody The Righteous Brothers

Oh, my love, my darling, I’ve hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time.
Time ‘goes slowly, and time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love, I need your love
God speed your love to me…

Let it be Me The Everly Brothers

I bless the day I found you. I want to stay around you,
And so I beg you, Let it be me.
Don’t take this Heaven from one.
If you must cling to someone.
Now and forever, let it be me.

In August of 2015, as I was walking through the house to the garage, I said, “Hey Hon, I love you, I hope that puts a smile on your face.”

A few mornings later, August 18, 2015, I woke up with “I love how you love me,” by Bobby Vinton in my mind.

Other songs over the next three years: Again using lyrics to speak for her.

“Hello Again,” Neil Diamond

“Could I have this Dance,” Anne Murray

“I Couldn’t live without your Love,” Petula Clark

“Never My Love,”  The Association

These last two songs were serendipitous. Walking through a store, I heard a song that intrigued me. I didn’t recall ever having heard it before, I did pick up a few of the lyrics, so I googled the lyrics.

A Thousand Years Christina Perri

The day we met,
Frozen, I held my breath,
Right from the start I knew that I’d found a home for my heart.
Beats fast,
Colors and promises,
How to be brave?
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall,
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.

One step closer,
I have died everyday waiting for you.
Darling, don’t be afraid. I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more…

All along, I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me.
I have loved you for a thousand years.
I’ll love you for a thousand more.

Valentine’s Day, 2018, another song I had no recollection of ever hearing.

Forever and For Always Shania Twain

In your arms I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me
I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me
I can stay right here forever in your arms.

In your heart-I can still hear a beat for every time you kiss me
And when we’re apart, I know how much you miss me
I can feel your love for me in your heart.
In your eyes, I can still see the look of the one who really loves me
The one who wouldn’t put anything else in the world above me
I can still see love for me in your eyes

And there ain’t no way–I’m letting you go now
And there ain’t no way-and there ain’t no how
I’ll never see the day,

Cause I’m keeping you forever and for always, we will be together
All our days, wanna wake up every morning to you sweet face always
Cause I’m keeping you forever and for always.

I made a list on my phone of the songs I woke up to. I listened to them often. Occasionally, the feeling I had when I heard them for the first time, I would feel again. Listening to the songs kept her alive and present for me.