Chapter 30, Not Good for Man to Be Alone

Soon after Lorna passed away, my first conscious thought as I woke up one morning was “It’s not good for man to be alone.” My reaction was, “Where did that come from?” (I have talked with three other widowers who heard the same thing).

A few days later I mentioned to Calli what I had heard. Her reply: “Oh, before I left the hospital after Mom died, she told me that you would remarry because she wanted you to be as happy as she is. My reply: “If that’s true, I’m not looking.”

In October, 2014, I had been in Midway, Utah, playing golf with a mission friend, Steve Eddington. On the way down Provo Canyon I was thinking of what I had heard and what Calli had told me. I had the strongest impression that whoever this person was, I had known her forever, and loved her forever.

My conclusion was that in that time before time, when choices were being made as to our life’s experiences, I knew Lorna was going home before I was. And whoever this person was, whom I had known forever and loved forever, knew her husband was going home before she was. We were going to meet, marry, and spend the last ten or twenty years together while completing our life’s mission. We still had things to do individually and things to do as a couple. All four of us knew the plan.

In March 2016, Calli called and told me; “Mom wants you to have President Butler give you a blessing.”

March 8, 2016 President Butler gave me a blessing pertaining to this next phase in my life.

Calli was there and recorded the blessing.

After a short introduction, President Butler described a very specific person, right down to health and personality.

Among other things, he said, “For she is one who loves the Lord as much as you love the Lord. Who loves the temple as you love the temple, who loves her family as you love yours. Who understands and comprehends and appreciates the beauty of the Atonement and its redemptive and enabling power. She will be quite a helpmeet to you as you will be to her, and together you will have a very happy companionship for time. When death arrives to both, when the two of you have returned to your covenantal companions, your time together will become eternal memories of goodness and kindness. Rejoicing in friendship and love, you will be joined by her companion and yours, for there is no jealousy there.

Toward the end of the blessing he said, “I do feel impressed that Heavenly Father would have you be a little more proactive in seeking her. For it is not her nature, because of her demure and virtuous soul, to chase a man.”

The Dating Game

Because I was told that “she was not one to chase a man,” I assumed I wouldn’t meet her online or at singles activities.

A few months after Lorna passed away, I started receiving calls from friends asking if I was interested in meeting someone. I always appreciated the calls, but my usual reply was “Not yet.”  So, to be more proactive, as I was counseled, I decided that when someone called, I would at least call and or meet the person they wanted to introduce me to.

Over the next six months or so, I met some fine ladies. The easiest way for me was to meet them somewhere for lunch or dinner. One in particular I would have liked to get to know better. She fit the profile from the blessing. As I was saying my prayers that evening, I heard, “she’s not the one.” I stopped my prayer and said out loud, “Why not?” No answer.

After participating in the dating game for six months or so I was sitting in my truck in a restaurant parking lot. I had just met another fine lady that could easily have become a friend.  But not that kind of “friend.”

I had a heart-to-heart with Lorna. It went something like this: “Okay, you obviously know who the  right ‘One’ is. Dating isn’t anymore fun now than it was fifty years ago. I don’t want my heart nicked, nor do I want to nick someone’s heart. So when the time is right, let me know.” That was in August of 2016. A phone that had rung a couple of times a month for two years, never rang again.

In August of 2018, two years later, I made a phone call.