Not Good for Man to be Alone
Soon after Lorna passed away, my first conscious thought as I woke up one morning was; “It’s not good for man to be alone”. My reaction was, where did that come from? (Subsequently, I have talked with three other widowers who heard the same thing).
A few days later I mentioned what I had heard to Calli. Her reply: Oh, before I left the hospital after mom died she told me that you would remarry, because, she wanted you to be as happy as she is. My reply, if that’s true, I’m not looking.
In October, 2014 I had been in Midway, Utah playing golf with a mission friend, Steve Eddington. On the way down Provo Canyon I was thinking of what I had heard and what Calli had told me. I had the strongest impression that whoever this person was, I had known her forever, and loved her forever.
My conclusion was that in that time before time, when choices were being made as to our life’s experiences, I knew Lorna was going home before I was. And, whoever this person was that I had known forever and loved forever, knew her husband was going home before she was. We were going to meet, marry, and spend the last ten or twenty years together completing our life’s mission. We still had things to do individually and things to do as a couple. All four of us knew the plan.
In March of 2016 Calli calls and tells me; “Mom wants you to have President Butler give you a blessing”.
March 8, 2016 President Butler gives me a blessing pertaining to this next phase in my life.
Calli was there and recorded the blessing.
After a short introduction, President Butler described a very specific person, right down to health and personality.
Among other things he said; “For she is one who loves the Lord as much as you love the Lord. Who loves the Temple as you love the Temple, who loves her family as you love yours. Who understands and comprehends and appreciates the beauty of the Atonement, it’s redemptive and enabling power. She will be quite a help meet to you as you will be to her, and together, will become a very happy companionship for time…when death finally arrives to both, both returning to your covenantal companions, your time with her will be eternal memories of goodness and kindness and rejoicing in friendship that shall be joined by her companion and yours, for there is no jealousy there.
Towards the end of the blessing he said; “I do feel impressed that Heavenly Father would have you be a little more proactive in seeking her. For it is not her nature, because of her demure and virtuous soul, to chase a man.”
The Dating Game
Because I was told that “she was not one to chase a man”, I assumed I wouldn’t meet her online or at singles activities.
A few months after Lorna passed away, I started receiving calls from friends asking if I was interested in meeting someone. My usual reply was “not yet”. So, to be more proactive, as I was a counseled, I decided that when someone called I would at least call and or meet the person they wanted to introduce me to.
Over the next six months or so, I met some fine ladies. The easiest way for me was to meet them somewhere for lunch or dinner. A couple of them I would have liked to get to know better, however each time I felt that way, I would hear, “she’s’ not the one”.
After hearing for the third time “she’s not the one”, I had a heart to heart with Lorna. It went something like this; Ok, you obviously know who the person is. Dating isn’t all that much fun anyway. So when the time is right, let me know. That was in August of 2016. The phone stopped ringing.